Having a baby is one of the most significant life events that requires adjustment to many facets of your life.
For women there are obvious changes to your body, and both parents will experience changes to daily routines, sleep patterns, priorities, financial commitments, relationships (just to name a few). This all takes a lot of adjusting to. The range of factors and degree of adjustment needed all vary from one person to another.
The significance of this adjustment for women makes the perinatal period – pregnancy and the first year following the birth of a baby – the time of life when women are most likely to experience emotional and mental health problems, prompting many women to ask ‘am I at risk?’.
I was highly anxious about losing my baby due to two previous miscarriages. I worried constantly, did everything by the book, looking back I can see I was a prime candidate for PND.
We know that there are a number of risk factors that may increase the likelihood of experiencing emotional and mental health issues at this time:
Having one or more of these risk factors – it does not mean that you will necessarily develop or experience mental health issues, but it can be very useful to increase your awareness of these issues and what to look for.
For men, whilst the rates of depression and anxiety are often reported to be high, evidence suggests that these rates are not significantly greater than other times outside the perinatal (antenatal and postnatal) periods. That is not to say the stress levels may increase, as compounded by change of routines, responsibilities and sleep. Research does however tell us that if a woman is experiencing depression, then the rates of depression in men significantly increase. In fact men are 50% more likely to develop postnatal depression, if their partner has depression at this time.
So in addition to thinking about your ‘readiness for parenthood’ it’s also a good time to reflect on your own personal experiences and circumstances, individually and as a couple. For example, it’s useful to consider whether you or a family member may have experienced stress, depression, anxiety or other mental health problems in the past, and how you managed this.
Parenthood can also bring up your own experiences as a child or with your parents. It can also exacerbate other personal or relationship issues. Other factors such as your access to practical, emotional, social and financial support may need to be considered in the context of having a baby.
It is also important to consider whether you are taking any medications which may impact on your fertility and/or whether they are safe to use whilst pregnant. Some medications for conditions like bipolar disorder for example, should not be used in pregnancy, and if in doubt you should seek advice from a specialist psychiatrist.
By being aware and informed – this gives you the opportunity to be proactive. Educate yourself, become aware of what to look for, and get help early. Like most physical problems – the faster you identify the risk or presence of a problem – the faster you can seek safe and effective help, and recover.
So if you are worried, or feel distressed at this early stage in your perinatal journey – it’s a good idea to get help sooner rather than later. In the same way that you want to be physically healthy – it’s also important to be mentally healthy before embarking on one of the biggest journeys you will ever make – the journey into parenthood.